Confessions!

Post your amusing tests and quizes here.
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Jystana
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Re: Confessions!

Post by Jystana » 03/01/14

I hate my hair. It's growing back, and it's curly like it has always been but I hate it. I feel like it is a fro and looks like an 80's dated grandma cut.

And people keep complimenting me on it. And if I hear one more person compliment me on it, I am afraid I will rip their hair out by the roots and see how cute they feel as it grows back.

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Lyah
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Re: Confessions!

Post by Lyah » 03/04/14

I'm sorry I got angry and said a lot of things I meant but shouldn't have said.

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Re: Confessions!

Post by Lysari » 04/02/14

I turned down the first real opportunity for any sort of sexy fun times in fucking years because I hadn't shaved and I'd had WAY to much to drink. Gods damn it all. I honestly don't know if I've just blown my only shot at this guy or not. I'm sure as fuck going to try to make another, more sober, play for him but he's in another state and it would probably never work between us. Damn it!!!!!

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TashMonster
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Re: Confessions!

Post by TashMonster » 04/03/14

Confession Time...

I have an enduring soft spot for cutesy frilly romance anime.

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Sibelle
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Re: Confessions!

Post by Sibelle » 04/16/14

I hate the "so and so" is typing thing on my phone. It wigs me out because I want to say something but I don't want to stop someone else from saying something.

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Alessio
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Re: Confessions!

Post by Alessio » 04/17/14

I guess I'll put up my shit list.
  • I have woken up in more lawn chairs because of tequila than I care to remember.
  • I haven't ever admitted that I find most anime boring because my friends would take my nerd card.
  • I've been dumped because I'm overweight.
  • I ate a half gallon of ice cream because of it...
  • ...And then attempted suicide out of disappointment and self loathing.
  • I tried again when I couldn't reconcile my sexuality.
  • I have been partially excommunicated from the Catholic Church. Or at least one Catholic Church.
  • I got roofied once and woke up half naked in the back seat of a friend's car.
  • I'm so extroverted that I place my problems on the people I love far too much. Being alone in my mind is my personal hell.
  • I have suffered emotional abuse.
  • I have been raped.
  • I feel pathetic because of it sometimes.
  • I have used all of these things as excuses for bad behavior.
  • I have suffered from social anxiety and major depressive disorders.
... But today, and as I get older, I get better. Every time I tell people about it I get better. No amount of hope will ever make the pain go away, but hope let's me understand this is what makes me who I am. And I'm beautiful.

I confess sometimes that I get wordy :x I think it drives my girlfriend crazy.

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Beth
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Re: Confessions!

Post by Beth » 04/17/14

I'm moving to Texas in a month to be with a guy who has known me for almost 15 years and who was around during my own personal hells. I'm going to miss a few people from Ohio. But I need a huge, drastic change in my life for the better and ridding myself from some of the huge stresses will be worth the move.

But I'm scared. I don't know anyone in the Dallas area and I'm nervous about the grown daughter that still lives in the house who believes I'm a perverted lesbian out to steal her Dad. I'm really scared. This is huge. I'm leaving behind my Sister, Belle, and I'm leaving my best friend Robert who would do anything for me. I bitch about him a lot, but he and I truly have a unique relationship.

Then there is the fear that once I move Charles will abandon me. Yeah that's the bpd talking. He's known people with it, he understands it, and he has known me for a really long time. Intellectually I know he's not going to abandon me.

And he's talking marriage and I'm not running away yet. I never thought I'd get to a point where that would ever be an option again.

Oh and tomorrow I'm doing something extremely stupid. The Belle and I are going to the local munch. Where the ex and his harlot are going to be. I anticipate explosions and fireworks. But I want to goto the munches before I move and I want to spend time with my Belle.

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Tariyel
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Re: Confessions!

Post by Tariyel » 04/22/14

Sometimes I write a great big long post here and then don't press submit.

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Sibelle
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Re: Confessions!

Post by Sibelle » 04/22/14

I do that too Tariyel. Often.


That's one confession. Here's for another one that I seriously considered not posting.

I have started to go out with this guy recently. And I've dated on and off for a few years and nothing serIous or long lasting happened. I had one who actually made it to boyfriend status and no one else. None of them I actually loved. Over many many dates. Not in the least.

I can say with absolute certainty that I am in love with this guy. I don't know how to explain it as we have gone on exactly two dates and we have taken it slow physically. As far as I know he feels the same way since he hinted at it. "Is it too early?"

All of that isn't much to confess about except that surprisingly after meeting him my mother became incredibly supportive, after she was making me relive the horrors of my exes before she had. She was trying to talk me out of going out on a date at all.

Then she met him and it changed completely.

So supportive in fact that on Sunday night she decided to inform me that if I were to somehow decide I actually want children that there is a significant chance that they could be dwarves because she spent hours researching all of this. Because she wanted to know because she was happy for me.

I confess, had I not felt so strongly about this guy I probably would have freaked a bit. I don't want kids and my mom really wants grankids, yet says she understands my desire not to. It's beyond early to even put that conversation in my head.

But with The way I feel about this guy? I did not react as I thought I would. Somehow, some switch flipped in my brain and told me that maybe, just maybe some day I would and I don't care about that genetic possibility.

Not that we are even in the realm of it. But knowing she supports me and likes him makes a huge difference. She did not like my previous boyfriends at all.

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Cyla
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Re: Confessions!

Post by Cyla » 05/01/14

I can't sleep tonight because I'm lying awake thinking of all the things I've fucked up over the years.
This happens too often.

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Kirath
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Re: Confessions!

Post by Kirath » 05/02/14

Cyla wrote:I can't sleep tonight because I'm lying awake thinking of all the things I've fucked up over the years.
This happens too often.

I've had nights like that. It's not fun. *hugs*

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Lyah
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Re: Confessions!

Post by Lyah » 05/08/14

Cyla wrote:I can't sleep tonight because I'm lying awake thinking of all the things I've fucked up over the years.
This happens too often.
I empathize with this too. I may often come across as a confident egotist. Or perhaps, even deservedly confident, but I am constantly wracked with self-down, recrimination, and even some self-loathing. But you know what? That's a GOOD thing.

The moment you believe in yourself without any level of doubt... that's the moment you're entering a dangerous level of self-deception.

We all fuck up. The real test is whether we grow from those failures.

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Sibelle
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Re: Confessions!

Post by Sibelle » 06/16/14

I'm pretty sure those pre-made cookie dough break away packs from Tollhouse are not meant to be baked. Or at least, I never seem to bake most of it... I just eat it and live a life of risk and danger.

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Tariyel
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Re: Confessions!

Post by Tariyel » 06/17/14

Generally, I am comfortable with myself and who I am. I am a good person. Yes, I fuck up and sometimes hurt people, but it was always because I didn't think, not out of malice. I have never woken up and decided that I am going to go make someone's life hell. At the same time, I also think some people need to get a fucking grip of themselves...the drama they make over something so little, you'd have thought I'd tried to murder them. Maybe it's because I am a very forgiving person. People fuck up. We are only human. If they apologise, I usually forgive. I expect the same, but apparently the rest of the world does not agree. It's easier to have an old friend as your enemy, than to admit that you might have been the one in the wrong.

But weeks like these last few make me frustrated with myself. My 19 year old cousin just got his degree in accounting. I am 30 and I pack boxes for a living. I literally, put stuff in a box, tape it up and send it off on a conveyor belt to be mailed. On the line with the small packages, I can do 200 an hour on autopilot. But that leaves me so much time to think. I am smart. I always have been. I found my old report cards from school and they all say the same... gifted but lazy. That if I applied myself I could go far. I could tell them the answers. I just couldn't explain them. I would sit there staring at my blank page wondering how the hell to put my thoughts onto paper. But they were right in a way. I could be more than I am. Instead I stand by a conveyor belt all day and I find myself thinking about things and people that I don't want to think about. I think about all the things that my mother says is a lie. So if that was all lies, what is real? What am I supposed to be remembering? Sometimes I wonder if I should go and have my head checked, that maybe it is me that is the problem.

I wish that I had someone to confide in. Someone who actually took me seriously. Instead I always feel judged, even by friends. They won't say it, but they look at me funny when I say some things. I want a child, but I do not want a partner. I saw a program once about two friends who were single mothers that decided to live together and raise their children together as one family. There was nothing sexual between them, both were straight. They were just very good friends. That would be fucking awesome in my book. But every time I mention a child, my family are like, you're still young! Find a man, settle down first. Why do I have to have a man? Why can my life not be complete without a man?

I need some stimulation in my life.

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Kirath
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Re: Confessions!

Post by Kirath » 06/17/14

Tariyel:

I don't know that we've ever actually spoken or met, be it in game or whatever, but a lot of what you describe sounds so very familiar to me it's almost painful. The same assessments from teachers, the same inability to really express things. Knowing the answers without being able to fully explain how I know.

One of the best realizations I ever came to about dealing with other people is that we are all just people, none of us is perfect and only very rarely is anyone truly acting out of malice or ill intentions. It's something I really wish more people would realize, especially in things like online roleplay communities where so many times I have seen needless drama be the death of friendships.

Your family thinks you need a man, but you don't. Maybe someday you'll meet a dude (Or a lady, I'm a dude on the internet, not a judge) who you *do* want as a partner, you kind of never know, but that doesn't mean you need or want one.You want a kid, more power to you. They say these things because that's the societal norm more than any other reason, I imagine.

Anyway. I feel you, is what I am getting at.

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Re: Confessions!

Post by Alice » 07/10/14

I'm not posting this on my main account as people in real life know me by that name, but it shouldn't be hard to guess who this is.

I'm a high-functioning hot mess right now. There's a drink in my hand within an hour of getting home from work, and before noon on my days off. I go to bed some degree of drunk 7 days a week, because being sober and alone in the dark makes me think too much.

I need some kind of attention that I'm not getting, and I don't know what to ask for. My self esteem is lower than it's ever been and I feel like I am nothing but a walking awkward conversation. It's a horrid, unthinkable thing that's happened to me, and I can't even talk about it because it's like dropping a conversational a-bomb if I ever bring it up. Nobody knows what to say. The conversation just ends.

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Sibelle
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Re: Confessions!

Post by Sibelle » 09/05/14

I can't get over how much my boss looks like Neil Patrick Harris.

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Re: Confessions!

Post by Einh » 09/06/14

Cybele wrote:I can't get over how much my boss looks like Neil Patrick Harris.
I'm ashamed to say I want there to be another Starship Troopers updated with How I Met Your Mother references.

It would be a huge improvement.

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Sibelle
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Re: Confessions!

Post by Sibelle » 10/18/14

I removed 46 desktop icons from my PC today.
I am so ashamed.

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Lyah
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Re: Confessions!

Post by Lyah » 10/23/14

Cybele wrote:I removed 46 desktop icons from my PC today.
I am so ashamed.
I keep acquiring icons, mostly bookmarks of things I mean to go back and look at, and never get around to, which accumulate in my "Unsorted" folder after a while.

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Beth
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Re: Confessions!

Post by Beth » 11/09/14

I dont feel like i belong anymore. Not just here but in other aspects of my life too.

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Morenin
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Re: Confessions!

Post by Morenin » 08/31/15

Something today reminded me of the fear my father sparked in me as a child. How I have a scar on my elbow from when he threw a bottle at me during an argument. Being punched in the stomach as hard as he could because he thought I had broken his computer. How my mother never intervened or reported it to anyone, but let it go on. How his friends thought he was a saint, and I find it hard in a way to reconcile the past. I can't talk about my father much because the past chokes me and no one will believe me. I love my mother a little less because she wasn't ever hit so she never did anything.

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