Slings and Arrows

Chat about anything and everything
Inqe
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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Inqe » 06/23/16

Tuesday, beautiful day, felt good, was going to dog sit, went to the library first, had lunch in town, got to the house and read all afternoon, had Thai for dinner... By the time the Spider ended that night I was in agony. What happened to my great day?

Wednesday, storms and rain, most of the day. Body is not happy, feel tired, sore. It does not match the activity I did on Tuesday.

Today, I can barely move my hands, I'm drained - exhausted. Full fibro flare, and I suspect a drop in iron but how? Why do I feel crushed?

Friday, please be well enough to get out to do some needed things, please?

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Sibelle
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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Sibelle » 06/23/16

Rarely do I rant about normal inconveniences but every once in awhile something so profoundly stupid happens that I can't help it.

I went in to get a prescription, stood at the line a few feet away from the counter as instructed. We're waiting, the pharmacist is around the corner but we presume will see the camera and come out when she can, as is expected. A rather unkempt woman in clothing way too tight, reeking of alcohol steps in line behind us for approximately 10 seconds only to decide to walk around and go to the consultation window and start talking to the pharmacist, clearly not actually consulting as she asks if her prescription is ready.

At this point, I couldn't stifle my mother and we were both openly airing our frustrations which the woman tries to defend herself, saying there are two separate lines (There are very clearly not) and then the pharmacist comes around with THE WOMAN'S PRESCRIPTION, only my mother stepped up and said we had been waiting and she cut around. Thankfully, the pharmacist did the right thing or we would have been stuck in walgreens for however long it took my mother to rant to the manager.

I don't usually judge people out of hand like that, but when she tried to defend herself and pointed at the signs indicating what -she- thought was the case (or just a blatant attempt to defend her horrible behavior) we very quickly pointed out the explanations that no, both windows were to be served by the ONE line.

Naturally this woman was not embarrassed or horrified, or even upset by the fact she behaved in a horrible fashion. Even 2nd graders have better manners about lining up for lunch.

I hate, hate random disputes with strangers but I did feel pretty vindicated when the pharmacist checked us out first.. but GRR.

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Lily
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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Lily » 06/26/16

I am tired of walking on eggshells for someone that behaves like a bull in a china shop.

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Lythil
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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Lythil » 06/26/16

Birthday is coming up. I am ready for it. But I HATE JUNE, the whole month. Both my Mother and my youngest Brother died this month. Just makes it hard. I jump from ok to just crying without warning. And right now I miss someone so bad it feels like my heart is broken. Just from missing them. My head hurts, my body is tired and I fight depression. Things that keep me going are the sun and his voice.. sighs.

Feeling useless and sad. Can June just end. Please.

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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Aerumnous » 06/30/16

Lythil wrote:Birthday is coming up. I am ready for it. But I HATE JUNE, the whole month. Both my Mother and my youngest Brother died this month. Just makes it hard. I jump from ok to just crying without warning. And right now I miss someone so bad it feels like my heart is broken. Just from missing them. My head hurts, my body is tired and I fight depression. Things that keep me going are the sun and his voice.. sighs.

Feeling useless and sad. Can June just end. Please.
*hugs*

Roommate messages me the other day saying he washed a dish I'd left in the sink (mind you this was a single pot) to soak for a few hours 'cause have to get back to gaming faster... *twitches* ..but, I was in my room the entire time and he could (should) have just asked if I was going to handle it. Like I always do. *blinks and sighs* Just sometimes feels like he's trying to flex on meh.

To ass beat or not to ass beat, that.. that is the question.

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Maelgrym
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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Maelgrym » 06/30/16

Can June just end. Please.
Processing request. Nearly completed. *winks*

Hang in there. Less than a day to go!

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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Rahfel » 07/01/16

Dear underwear-making companies,
WHY in the HELL must you put these huge, clunky, pokey ass tags in the worst places?? -__-
I cannot stand seeing underwear companies have commercials bragging about how comfortable their products are vs. <insert other brand here's product>. I mean, yeah. Maybe that IS a nice pair of ye olde expensive underwear, but you HAD to add the most uncomfortable clunky tag in an awkward place, therefore nullifying any of those claims almost automatically! Such boasts are really nothing more than pure lies at this point, as I sit there realizing that on a temporal scale with a tag drilling into the back of my waist. And how DARE you put the washing instructions on the giant, poorly-located tags, because odds are many people and well as myself gonna get pissed and cut them all off in a fit of rage or whatever. So why not just have an online database or saying how to wash each of those products rather giant, uncomfortable tags of doom?
There could be a chart showing the product, with 'hey here's how you wash this particular thing' instructions.
It'd be be both difficult and a complete waste of time to try and keep track of all those tags after cutting them off, and far too easy to confuse which tag belonged to which article of clothing. I'd end up using the wrong detergent and end up ruining or improperly washing a particular pair of underwear out of sheer confusion.

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Lily
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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Lily » 07/02/16

Hubby and I go to the mall just to wander around and spend time together outside of the house. While there, A lady at a kiosk calls my attention over and begins her sales pitch. She's good. I mean she's REALLY good. I liked the nail kit, and we haggle over prices. I got that price down from $59 to $29.

Then she asks if I'm a senior.

Do I honestly look like I'm that old to you? Seriously?!

Ugh. No sale.

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Sibelle
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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Sibelle » 07/03/16

In the words of some new slang terms..

My red wedding has arrived and it is as awful this month as Cersei Lannister is when she doesn't get her way.

Alternatively:

The English have landed and they are not playing nicely.

Shark Week and Jaws is in my uterus.

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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Scrattch » 07/03/16

So, my birthday is tomorrow, and let's see how it's shaping up so far:

My mother invited, so I'll get my usual helping of guilt/recrimination for not being willing to give as much of myself as she would like, failing to invite her to my stepson's graduation (it was hot, crowded, other family was in town and frankly I didn't feel like trying to squeeze in playing Taxi service) and of course the never ending litany of how my sister has fucked up her life/her kid's life (who my mother now has custody of) and so on and so forth... before having to drive her home at the end of the evening where she'll have the chance to pidgeon-hole me on any/all of the above AGAIN... ruining what little good feeling I might have left by the end of the night.

Late wife's mother invited, despite our having... let's call them irreconcilable differences of opinion as to whether she should be allowed to brainwash my children into Good Little Christian Soliders/Trump supporters/Future Fascists of America now that their mother is dead and I've remarried to a (gasp) Catholic... so I'll get my usual silent judging/recrimination for being disabled and unable to work 60+ hours a week, pushing all pain aside because... hey, that's what HER father did and $$$$$ is far more important than spending time with family, right? Besides, my degenerative discs disease is just in my head because I'm just another Liberal/Democrat (despite me being neither) slacker who doesn't want to work for a living and wants to leech off the government and the hard working tax payers (despite having worked for over 20 years, 10 of which with her daughter and sacrificing my health to care for her until she died)... and of course now that I've stopped her taking the kids to church for their indoctrination, I'm now a 'non believer'... of course things have been so chilled between us that she'll likely stop, drop off some vids for the kids (Superbook! Christian propaganda for kids!) shove a card with money into my hands (the only way she can express emotional concern is via shopping/money/things and which I'll be reminded of having been given at SOME point) and leave.

Of course, that will ruin the sole consolation that Holidays usually bring:

Watching Thing One (my mother) and Thing Two (Late wife's mother) tear each other to shreds ever-so-politely.
Honestly, it's like a live action version of the Duchess Grantham and Shirley Maclane's character in Downtown Abbey.

Moving on, wife has had start of usual holiday flare up of tummy condition. I can count on one hand the times she hasn't been sick on a Holiday. Not her fault, but FUCK I would really like to have ONE stinking holiday where my wife isn't sick or stuck on the toilet leaving me to play host alone. Celiac/Gluten crap can really kill your enjoyment level of things.

Poor dear, she's suffering and I do get it. Again, not her fault at all.

At least she's offered to cook on my birthday, sparing me my usual "must turn out an entire family dinner/BBQ/Holiday meal and make sure everything runs smoothly on the day that I'm supposed to be actually enjoying myself" routine... which I will likely end up doing ANYWAY provided that her tummy doesn't settle between now and then.

Speaking of related issues, let's add in:

My poor daughter is gearing up for her first ever period and it's likely going to hit... tomorrow. I've been getting an excruciatingly detailed, blow by blow account of every symptom and thing coming out. Which really doesn't bother me, but my yeah... we're into the Teen Years now.
Which means I now have three women in the house whose periods are going to synch.

I may start drinking for fun and profit.

Let's see... mothers/illness/housework/periods... that brings us to:

The half assed recognition of said event by the kids. Alright, not ALL the kids. My two girls will do what they can, and a handwritten card from them *does* mean something. There's a level of effort there, at least. The boys? Pffft. I'll be fortunate if I get a quick sketch from my son on notebook paper and a very uncomfortable/half ashamed (but not really)/half apologetic (but not really) pat on the shoulder and apology for not getting me anything from my stepson.

NONE of them think of things like Mother's Day (have to prod them every year just to remember, much less do anything) or Father's Day, nor the thousand little things I do every day while I'm fighting chronic pain just to make their lives easier/fuller/ect.

And don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for expensive presents or things like that- but put some fucking thought into it, please. Shit, you want to impress me, gentlemen? Get off your dead asses and wash the dishes after the ladies are done cooking on my birthday. Actually pick up your room, bathe and wear clean clothes for one day out of the year. Be considerate of your sisters, drag your head out of the video games/computer enough to help with the work that will need doing...

There's a reason daddy has trouble relaxing and doing nothing and resting- it's because nobody else will think far enough ahead to do what needs doing! And this drives me bats. If there is something that wants doing, I cannot leave it lay long for practical reasons.

I can't wait for person X to 'do/finish the dishes later' because I need the fucking dishes to cook the meals that half of the family (the boys) aren't going to want to eat anyway! I need the floor swept and the trash taken out so I can do the dishes before I even get to the food prep!

And that 5 minutes I spend each time refilling the tea/koolaid/drink mix because NO BODY ELSE SEEMS CAPABLE OF REFILLING AN EMPTY CONTAINER?

Yeah, that's another 5 minutes gone from my day. DON'T LEAVE 2mm of drink in the jug in the fridge, either, on the principle of "it's not empty yet so I don't have to refill it/someone else will"! IT'S FUCKING INSULTING! ITS WORSE THAN JUST EMPTYING THE DAMN THING!!!!!

MAKE MORE, you lazy bastards!

*pant pant pant*

So... yeah. Happy Birthday to me. Again. Why the hell do I do this whole ringamarole every year?

*sigh*

On the bright side, my lovely wife did get me something very cool for my birthday that I've wanted.
SHE, at least, gets it. Wouldn't trade her for anything.

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Slipps
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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Slipps » 07/03/16

*hugs*

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Lily
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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Lily » 07/07/16

The other side of the Thing 1 & Thing 2 rant...

I think the reason I always get so sick around the holidays is because I'm under so much stress during the holidays to light a fire under the kids' asses and to make everyone get along with each other (including two people who can't stand each other) and to keep my husband calm.

Then I have to listen to my husband talk about how he can't stand these very same people, which leads to me suggesting that he just not invite Thing 1 & Thing 2 this year. Let's have a holiday with only the people who care and will actually TRY to make it a good holiday. Then the whole loop around ends with them being invited anyway as a gesture for family unification, holding out the olive branch, giving our niece & nephew a good holiday... whatever the reason is at that point in time.

Inside my head, I already know it's going to be a disaster. I know what's going to happen. Thing 1 & Thing 2 will bicker, which leads to them using either my husband or the children (or both) as weapons in their little war with each other. You want dysfunctional? You put Thing 1 & Thing 2 in the same room together with the grandkids. They make the Jerry Springer show look like a wholesome comedy of errors.

I invite my husband's mother because he doesn't want to talk to her. He thinks she's a manipulative, conniving bitch who's using us to get what she wants, which is a free taxi service and extra money. (I happen to agree with him.) He invites his first wife's mother because I don't want to to talk to her. I think she's just as manipulative and narrow-minded to boot. She's brainwashing the children into little versions of her first husband and daughter because they look like her first husband and daughter. She's also a fascist, and I don't use that term lightly! (He happens to agree with me.)

So if we agree with each other about my two mothers-in-law, why are we still inviting them over on the holidays? No, seriously. Why?

By the time the holiday arrives, I'm sick both physically and mentally. I'm sick of the kids. I'm sick of hubby. I'm beyond sick of the expected but unwanted company. I don't want to put up with the familial bickering. I'm tired of dodging questions about church from Thing 1 because she wants to indoctrinate her grandchildren in the extreme right wing ultra-conservative Christian views she has. I'm tired of dodging questions from Thing 2 because she wants the grandchildren for a sleepover in her house that REEKS of cat piss so she can poison their little minds against Thing 1, who happens to be busily poisoning their minds against Thing 2.

It's like Spy vs. Spy here with the two youngest kids caught in the middle.

And this holiday was different from the others. I was planning this holiday so that HE could relax and enjoy it! In spite of my efforts, hubby was STILL stressed and upset and winding himself up for something that hadn't even happened yet. It's like... I needn't have bothered at all!

Can we just not invite Thing 1 & Thing 2? Yeah, I'm sorry about your niece & nephew, but can we just NOT? Can't we have one, JUST ONE, holiday without them? I guarantee that my chances of getting sick then will be slim indeed. Just one relaxed holiday where I'm not trying to make everyone adhere to an unrealistic time schedule to meet a deadline for people who aren't going to appreciate or notice it anyway. One holiday where I don't have to bully all the kids into helping me around the house so you won't have to worry about the house... something that you worry about regardless of my efforts.

Just one holiday: no in-laws, no stupid schedule to keep, no responsibilities other than enjoying ourselves, our children, and some food that we cooked because we loved to cook it, not because we had to cook it.

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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Tajar » 07/08/16

Having been a child in one of those kind of situations, holidays are better with just the nearest and dearest. Christmases at home were always the best. While I loved my grandparents, there was always the awkward, 'Give your Mum and Dad a kiss and cuddle goodnight' or other such forced displays of affection that did not exist at home. At home we just played with our gifts, had chocolate for breakfast and everyone just chilled. And then the rows between my mum and the gran (usually in fierce hushed whispers about me, though I did not know until much later why), with mum stomping off in a huff and the gran sitting with a smoke and a glass a whiskey in her hand heaving big huffy sighs.

Honestly, give the holidays without Thing 1 and Thing 2 a go, I bet the kids will enjoy it more too. /hugs.

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Slipps
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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Slipps » 07/08/16

Next Holiday, surprise the Things with cruise tickets! Say they are from the grandkids, guilt them into going.
But do not tell them that the other one also has a ticket and that they will be sharing a cabin.
Make sure the cruise is a long one.
Invite the niece and nephew for a much calmer day of family.

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Lily
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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Lily » 07/10/16

Oh, that plan is evil. I love it!

Actually, we're taking a different approach. We're not doing Thanksgiving meal as a family because we're exhausted: mentally, physically, and financially. We're also saving up our money for a real family vacation.

That's not a lie. Family holiday meals are super stressful and expensive. Plus hubby's nephew is a turd, and I've nearly tossed him out on his ear on more than one occasion. You know me. It takes a lot to get me to that point.

This Christmas, we are all going on vacation... for the entire 2 week break. We're going to see my family, the one that doesn't ask uncomfortable questions. The one that isn't full of pretentious assholery. I haven't seen them in over 3 years.

Next year, I'm putting my foot down. Only ONE holiday with the Things. Currently, we do four holidays each year: Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Only ONE holiday next year, and that will be Thanksgiving.

Oh, I also want to put a stop to the whole demanding the grandchildren for week-long sleepovers. These ladies are local! It's a 5 minute drive for one, 10 minutes for the other! There is no excuse for demanding an entire week with the grandkids! They can just drive by and visit or ask us to visit them!

One day? Fine. Two days? You're pushing it. Three days? That is my absolute max, and only during the summer. Don't demand the kids on shorter holidays, like Labor Day Weekend, Spring Break, Thanksgiving. Just summer. Summer is 2 1/2 months long.

I'm also extremely uncomfortable with them sleeping over without us there. That's not how I was raised. We never spent time at our grandparents' house without our parents there as well.

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Rahfel
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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Rahfel » 07/11/16

Literally a shit week, and another one potentially as bad ahead of me. I can't manage to keep a friend solidly because I suck at communicating and interpreting people(thanks to PTSD and anxiety and whatnot, I somehow magically can never tell whether or not people are trying to point things out or are genuinely attacking me. Thank you, for always making me assume the worst, even if there isn't anything actually wrong. x.x)
I am also upset with a few people, however due to a string of miscommunication. Unfortunately I am not blessed with what is evidently a common human ability other people seem to have or pick up on in which they can read someone's mind and intentions(and say with absolute certainty) what someone expects of you, when they do not tell you. ''I thought you knew'' is barely something you can say, when you didn't even bother to physically EXPLAIN what you meant. You cannot expect me to understand what you want, when you silently imply things in text statements ingame without explaining clearly WHAT YOU MEAN. I hate that it feels like it's being played off that the person is blowing you off when they are ''too busy running a guild etc" to keep being my friend.
I would not treat any of my friends this way. Honestly. If you have any damn business calling yourself someone's friend? You'll make time for them, because they readily would do the same for you. I'm tired of being in emotional oblivion over would-be simple issues like this, and the way the person reacted to it really did belittle the issue--and me, as it felt. Dude, can you at least just come out and say ''screw you, I'm too busy for you"? Don't go and have someone form outside the situation try and explain things for you on your behalf. It does NOT help the situation, or ease the pain. I must have a sign in big, bright red text on my head that says, 'LIE TO ME, WASTE MY TIME,HURT ME, BLOW ME OFF.'
If this is how humans work, then I'm almost wondering if we should all be ashamed and repentant for those who can't seem to have heart enough do it on their own.

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Slipps
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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Slipps » 07/11/16

Lily,

I was raised spending time away from my parents at both sets of grandparents and great grandparents, and aunts, uncles... Not just me, but my siblings and cousins in assorted numbers. That said, none of those family members lived in the same town. We were scattered all over creation! Generally summers were the days that us cousins were swapped around. We learned new things, how to make do, how to get along, how to appreciate certain things.

Now, with the Things, as they both live close, and are not exactly respecting your wishes on how the children should be raised, yes, your stay over rules are reasonable. You may want to consider, as they are old enough, letting them spend time with your own family, if that is feasible.

Rahfel,

*hugs*

I live with an Aspy, much of the communication issues you have, are ones that my housemate has. For that reason he prefers to use voice chat for anything OOC as much as possible. Granted, he still misses things, but he is fully aware of his difficulties in communication, and relationships. He has learned to make do. You, my dear, have some deeper issues to wrangle with, and those I fully understand. Put the two together and I can see how you can get frustrated.

Not everyone runs a guild the same way, if your friend is very hands on, as I am, it can be quite a bit of work. If they are new to running one, or there is a constant issue that needs to be dealt with, or even a sudden crises, then their attention may need that complete focus. Even still, it is a game, and there should be time for the actual game and enjoyment of their guild mates without the 'paperwork' taking all of their energy.

You are not worthless. You do deserve friends, that can manage to speak 'Rahfel', even if it takes them some time to figure it out. Just remember that not everyone can, or wants to be constantly at the side another. Nor should you.

Good luck!

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Lily
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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Lily » 07/11/16

The draw back is that my family is like... 2,000 miles away, and that's not an exaggeration. Hubby and I are looking at 3 days of driving there and 3 days back (if we push it) for Christmas vacation. We could probably make it in two days, but I like sleep.

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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Maelgrym » 07/11/16

... prefers to use voice chat for anything OOC as much as possible
We have actually made it mandatory in our guild. I have mixed feelings about that, but I will admit that it does cut down on the assumption factor that tends to pop up in this game. While it hasn't staved off all drama for us, it has cut it down some.

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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Tajar » 07/12/16

... prefers to use voice chat for anything OOC as much as possible


We have actually made it mandatory in our guild. I have mixed feelings about that, but I will admit that it does cut down on the assumption factor that tends to pop up in this game. While it hasn't staved off all drama for us, it has cut it down some.
I do feel voice chat helps with getting the right end of the stick on OOC matters for the most part. It is not always easy to infer from text, what the other person is trying to say. If someone is beating around the bush, I usually just ask them right up, what is it that you need from me? Just ask me.

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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Rahfel » 07/12/16

That seems like a good idea, but really all I need is people to explain things rather than assume that I know what they want by magically reading their minds. You may expect neither compliance nor understanding when you have done nothing to warrant them. It's really not that hard to explain, and that comes as an inherent responsibility to someone who claims the positions of both a friend and a leader. The issue runs deeper than someone just being too preoccupied and swamped by self-inflicted duties. You don't HAVE to lead a guild, and can ask for help at any time. Say what you mean and mean what you say, and be willing to own up to mistakes rather than shove people who point out the problem into a corner and pretend that they don't exist or you don't have time for them. I think that if you suddenly don't have time to deal with it as a leader, then I don't suppose you ''have time'' to be a friend or a reliable person, either. "I'm busy" just feels convenient and transparent excuse in this case when you have been asked on numerous occasions to deal with it at your convenience. When you have no convenience to sort out the issues of people you're supposed to be leading, then I'd say that the odds are that you're not gonna be leading a bunch of people for much longer. Miscommunication breeds misunderstanding, which blossoms into contempt and eventually drama and sometimes extreme reactions, depending on who is involved. Again, you are entitled to NO expectations for something that you can't manage to ask for in words.
As my mum always told me, and it applies to this situation: ASS|U|ME. -___-

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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Maelgrym » 07/14/16

I have always enjoyed cooking, most especially grilling. I enjoyed a good mixed drink, cocktail, microbrew. On rare occasion, I'll even enjoy a pipe or cigar.

This year, the first two were pretty much stripped away from me. I got diagnosed with Diverticulitis...it's hereditary: my mom and her mom, and several of their siblings have/had it. It's the reason I have missed the past couple of Fugue openings...same reason I missed the guild recruitment fair last night.

They say the first year is the toughest. For some folks they find out what foods trigger episodes for them and do really well after that. This last episode I had was because I got slightly dehydrated. So now I am in the position of not only having to watch and remember what I do eat, but I have to remember what I did not eat or drink that brings this stupid pain on.

I don't really care about hurting. I can deal with that with medication. I am creative enough that I think I can actually turn the culinary thing around into a challenge that might be fun and educational. I will miss drinking, but its not a terrible loss. However, I can't do a damn thing about how it causes my family to worry about me.

On the flip side...it's been a decent diet plan.

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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Slipps » 07/14/16

*hugs*

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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Morenin » 07/14/16

Depressed. Not for any real good reason. I just feel like a hamster on a wheel lately. Always running and never getting anywhere.

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Re: Slings and Arrows

Post by Lythil » 07/17/16

Feeling sad.

Dearest Scrappers(Gahan), Eric Farmer.... today was your Birthday and you are so missed. I keep recalling our role play with Gahan and Bubbles and it made me laugh.

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